Leviticus Pt 2

 

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Rites of Ordination, 

the Priesthood is Downsized,

Don't Eat that Ostrich,

and

Mothers of the World, Atone!

I know we've been starting these installments lately with observations that are a bit on the peripheral side, but today we're going to get right down to it.

    The first seven chapters of Leviticus were all about offerings, but now we're going to branch out a bit. Don't worry though, there will still be flesh going up in smoke.

    Chapter 8 is all about the initiation ceremonies that will officially install Aaron and Sons as the Priests of the Tabernacle. I think the program can be summed up fairly well in a bulleted format.

• Aaron and the boys wash up.
• They put on their priest costumes.
• Oil gets distributed around the Tent of Meeting.
• They kill a bull.
• They kill a ram.
• They kill another ram.
• Aaron and Sons get familiar with the innards of the above animals.
• Blood and oil is sprinkled, dabbed, and smeared on Aaron and Sons in very specific ways.
• They have to stay in the tent for seven days. If they go outside God has promised to kill them, so even though they probably are anxious to take a nice shower after all of the sprinkling, dabbing, and handling of internal organs, they have sufficient motivation to stick it out.

    The eighth day is covered in Chapter 9 and it is a busy one.

• They kill a bull calf.
• They kill a ram.
• They kill a male goat.
• They kill a calf, a lamb, some yearlings (we're not told what the animals are, just that they are a year old), an ox, and another ram.
• For variety they offer up some choice grain and a tablespoon or so of nice oil.
• The fat, which as we recall belongs to God, is turned into smoke on the altar. 
• God makes an appearance in verses 23-24.
• "and the glory of the Lord appeared to all the people. Fire came out from the Lord and consumed the burnt offering and the fat on the altar; and when all the people saw it, they shouted and fell on their faces."
• I bet they did. I mean that must have been darned impressive not to mention scary as all get out.

    There is a bit of a hiccup in the ordination process in Chapter 10 when two of Aaron's sons, Nadab and Abihu, take it upon themselves to deviate from the schedule by introducing a bit of incense burning the Lord had not signed off on.

    2 And fire came out from the presence of the Lord and consumed them, and they died before the Lord. 3 Then Moses said to Aaron, "This is what the Lord meant when he said,

'Through those who are near me

I will show myself holy,

and before all the people

I will be glorified.'"

    And Aaron was silent.

    I bet he was. The poor man was grieving for his sons and at the same time trying to figure out how the above quote from the Lord could have been understood to mean "don't mess with the incense until I tell you it's okay or else I'll hit you with the Lord's Own Flamethrower." And let's face it, somewhere in the back, or even front, of his mind he's got to be hoping the statute of limitations has run its course in regards to that whole golden calf snafu back in Exodus. But just to be clear, all we're told here is "And Aaron was silent." so the rest of it is just me speculating.

    Moses keeps his cool and has a couple of Nadab and Abihu's cousins haul their smoking bodies "to a place outside the camp" and that's the last we hear of them. Nadab and Abihu and the cousins that is.

    Aaron still has two other sons in Eleazar and Ithamar and, although you'd think it would go without saying, Moses makes sure he warns them against doing anything rash. Things are going smoothly again, at least for a while, but then Eleazar and Ithamar get the sequence of things turned around in the goat offering process by not eating the bits they were supposed to eat when they were supposed to eat them. Considering what just happened to their brothers I'll bet they thought it was their turn to be put under the broiler, but leniency prevails. All that happens is Moses gets stern with them, Aaron takes a bit of responsibility, and evidently the Lord realizes he can only downsize the workforce so much before productivity suffers.

    Next up in Chapter 11, the Lord tells Moses and Aaron that he has some dietary guidelines he wants them to pass on to the Israelites. I'll try to sum things up, once again in bulleted fashion.

• Good to eat: Animals with divided hoofs that are also cleft-footed and chew cud.
• So no camels. They don't have divided hoofs.
• No hares.
• No pigs. No cud chewing.
• Nothing with paws. I kinda like that one.
• Good to eat amongst the creatures of the sea: Anything with fins and/or scales.
• No fins? No scales? Keep it off the dinner menu.
• Good to eat amongst the birdies: He doesn't really say.
• However, these are the ones to steer clear of:
• Eagles
• Vultures
• Ospreys
• Buzzards
• Kites
• Ravens
• Ostriches 
• I shall notify the local attraction Rooster Cogburn Ostrich Ranch and Petting Zoo that they must cease offering ostrich eggs and jerky post haste.
• Nighthawks
• Sea gulls
• Hawks
• Little owls (and great owls)
• Cormorants
• Water hens
• Carrion vultures
• Storks
• Herons
• Hoopoes
• and...bats (I know, not really a bird, but they're listed)

    I hope you're writing all this down.

• If insects are a part of your complete and balanced breakfast, please restrict yourself to those with "jointed legs above their feet with which to leap on the ground." In other words...
• Locusts
• Crickets
• Grasshoppers

    Chapter 11 wraps things up with a bunch of warnings about carcasses and gives us a listing of the sorts of dead animals you want to steer clear of. Once again, bullet points.

• Weasels
• Mice
• Big lizards
• Regular sized lizards
• Sand lizards (I have no idea)
• Crocodiles (somebody tell the folks in Louisiana and Florida)
• Geckos (too cute, I guess)
• Chameleons

    Oh, and don't touch anything that has come in contact with a dead reptile. If you do you'll be persona non grata until the evening. The "until evening" thing is repeated a number of times in Leviticus when it comes to dealing with unclean situations. The sun going down seems to have a cleansing effect.

    Oh, I almost forgot, don't eat any snakes or centipedes. I hope I got that info to you in time.

    We will wrap up today's installment with Chapter 12, where the Lord spells out the rules and regulations that apply to women who have just given birth. Brand new mommies! They need to keep in mind that for a period of time after the birth they are, unfortunately, unclean. Even if they've had a nice shower or two. The length of time they are unclean and therefore ineligible to drop by the tabernacle and show off the newest member of the family depends on the gender of the infant.

• Just have a baby boy? Mom, you are ceremonially unclean for seven days and you need to wait thirty-three days for your blood to purify.
• But if the blessed arrival is a girl, the Lord would appreciate it if you would double both of those time periods. Just 'cause.

    In either case, the final step before mom is cleared to rejoin the Ladies Bible Study Coffee Club involves bringing a lamb along with a pigeon or a turtledove for the priest to offer to the Lord for atonement. What she's atoning for isn't mentioned. 

*The photo is of the White Tower at the Tower of London. Originally built by order of William the Conqueror in 1066 it has had a number of This Old House episodes over the centuries resulting in the striking edifice you can see today. It has been used as a royal residence, a storage facility, a chapel, and, of course, a place the king or queen could stash persons he or she wanted out of the way for a period of time.

    

You Want Rules? Leviticus Is The Place To Be

 

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How To Sacrifice

Welcome to Leviticus, which is chock-full of everything you need to know if you want to run a smooth and effective tabernacle, are interested in just how to identify leprosy, and have always wondered how to make sure a semen emission doesn't spoil your day. In this third book of the Old Testament you will also find information about when you need to ask for time off work to celebrate the mandatory festivals, and what to look for on a garment label when shopping at Kohl's. 

    In this episode we will review, in brief, the first seven chapters of Leviticus, which cover the all important subject of how to make good with God by killing animals and making toast.

    But first, I'd like to share a little bonanza that came my way a couple of days ago. Our neighborhood, like so many across the nation and the globe, has a cute little unattended Take a Book, Share a Book Library, where people can put books that no longer fit on their nightstand or bookshelves or in their lifestyle so others might have the opportunity of taking them home and broadening their horizons with reading material they might not otherwise be inclined to spend actual money on. Our little library is often heavy with thrillers and romances and self-help and sixteen page kiddie books, but sometimes a truly remarkable volume makes an appearance, prompting a person to wonder just what happened to make the original owner decide to edit it out of their life. The book pictured above made an appearance a couple of weeks ago and try as I might to resist, when I saw it was still there this Tuesday I just had to tuck it under my arm and bring it home. I mean, how could I resist a Bible that promises Adventure? One that has such fun cover art (we're talking kids in a Jeep and a rolled up treasure map and a tiger, I mean come on!) and one that claims to have been created specifically for "Ages 6-10" by a publishing house called Zonderkidz. I may be well past age ten, but as a novice Bible reader myself this edition was bound to give me some easy to understand insights. Right? 

    Of course there was also the distinct possibility that some of the, shall we say, racier bits we have already discovered and which I am fairly confident we shall come across again and again as we make our way through the Old Testament especially, were bound to be either skipped over or bowdlerized in the extreme in order not to offend young sensibilities. I am happy to report that, so far anyway, I have not found that to be the case. For instance, in Genesis, Chapter Nine, Noah still gets drunk and passes out in his tent sans robe or undies. In Chapter 20 they don't skip over the part where Abraham passes his wife Sarah off as his sister and the local head honcho Abimelech "sent for Sarah and took her." I also cross-checked a couple of "what to do with bodily fluids" rules that are covered a bit later here in Leviticus and by golly, the six to ten year old readers of the NIrV Adventure Bible for Early Readers are going to be well prepared when they have to deal with the inevitable times when they need to counsel older folks on what to do if semen touches a man and a woman whilst they are making love. This is something every first through fourth grader should know and I for one am grateful the information is available to them in easy to understand and adventurous terms.

    Here at Book by Book we will still be using the New Standard Revised Version, but it's nice to know I have a quick and inoffensively child-friendly reference to which I can turn when the need arises.

    Now let us dive into what Leviticus has to tell us about how and what to sacrifice to God, where to distribute the blood, and who gets the fat parts.

    The book opens with God calling Moses and telling him to listen up because he's going to tell him how he likes his burnt offerings. For instance, God wants the animal involved to be "without blemish", so right away I'm picturing the cattle and sheep and goats and turtledoves and pigeons (these are the official sacrificial animals) looking around for razor blades and tattoo parlors in order to dodge the draft, as it were. Good luck to them.

    These opening chapters are broken down by the type and purpose of the offering in question, like Burnt or Grain, or Sin, or something called Well-Being, although once we get into Chapters 6 and 7 the borders get a bit sketchier, so once again we're looking at the fact that a really good editorial intervention would have been welcome, but I suppose we should just accept that things are going to be a bit higgledy-piggledy and enjoy things as they are.

    Chapter One is titled "Burnt Offering", and in it we learn how to kill a male from the herd or the flock. Well, actually that is not the case. What we do learn is a bit about the pre-kill ritual and then what to do with the post-kill bits and pieces and bodily fluids. The author avoids including any useful tips regarding how one should go about the actual act of dispatching the creature in question--which in this first example is a bull--we're simply told it must be brought to the entrance of the tent of meeting (aka tabernacle), a hand must be placed on its head, and once those simple requirements are fulfilled the assassination should proceed. Whether that's done with a sharp object, a blunt instrument, or tickling the beast to death the author doesn't say. We do learn that once the beast is dead access to its blood will be necessary because dashing said blood against all sides of the altar is an unskippable part of the process. Spoiler alert,  this blood dashing is a part of all of the sacrifices that follow here, with the exception of the ones involving grain. Not much blood to be gotten from a sheaf of wheat I suppose, but those do require oil and frankincense, so there's still going to be a bit of cleanup involved afterward.

   After the blood is spattered about in the designated compass points, firewood must be arranged properly on the altar, the various body parts distributed on the wood, with special attention being paid to the head and suet, and the priest is then instructed to "turn the whole into smoke on the altar as a burnt offering, an offering by fire of pleasing odor to the Lord." 

    The instructions for the destruction of a goat or sheep are pretty much the same as for a bull. There is a bit of variation introduced if pigeons or turtledoves are involved, including the "how to" portion when it comes to the method of execution which is missing from the bull, goat and sheep paperwork.

15 The priest shall bring it to the altar and wring off its head 

    After the bird has been beheaded there is the usual pouring of blood around the altar. Once that is accomplished the crop is to be removed and the priest is to "throw it at the east side of the altar, in the place for ashes", after which the wings are spread, the whole thing roasted to a fare thee well, and the result is guaranteed to be a "pleasing odor to the Lord" which is the ultimate goal as God is big into olfactory stimulation. For any of you who are fans, as I am, of the television show "Ghosts" this may bring a nod of recognition.

    Chapter 2 covers the less messy Grain Offerings. The important things here are the ingredients required, which are choice flour, nice quality oil, frankincense, and salt, and the fact that only a portion of it gets burned up to create the pleasing odor while the remainder goes into the pantry for Aaron and Sons to enjoy on their lunch breaks. Oh, and very important is the no leavening rule. God doesn't like yeast or baking powder. Or honey; no honey allowed. Don't know why.

    Side note here. Neither the Burnt nor the Grain Offering instructions indicate exactly what benefit(s) the population can expect from these sacrifices of valuable nutritional resources. I'm guessing it was one of those "We'll give you (meaning God) some of what we have and in return we think you'll make sure we have lots and lots more when we need it." sort of thing, but like I said, it isn't spelled out. Kind of like modern day prosperity preachers don't really spell out any concrete, contractually binding benefits one can expect in return for becoming a sustaining member in their private jet and forty-three room, seventeen car garage personal compound fund.

    Side note number two. As a nomadic people, I'm wondering where the choice flour is coming from. It's not like anything has been mentioned about the wandering Israelites settling down for a few years at a time so they can plant crops, but maybe that's what happened. Or maybe they just stop by Whole Foods as they're circling around the desert, waiting for forty years to elapse.

    Chapter 3 is titled "Offering of Well-Being" and this is where I had to use my five minutes of research time to figure out just what's going on here. Actually, it only took a minute or so to find a nice article by Rabbi Andrea Goldstein where she explains things thusly,

"The offerer brings a gift, yet asks nothing of God in return, motivated only by what Naphtali Herz Weisel calls “an abundance of joy, of gratitude to God.” 

    In other words, when life is good and you want to say thank you to the Creator, what better way than to bring a member of the herd (or flock) to Aaron and Sons so they can dash its blood against the altar?

    The instructions regarding the various body parts and internal organs of the critter are even more detailed than in the Burnt Offering section, but if you want those details you'll need to crack open the book yourself, they make me a bit queasy. I will share that this bit in verse 16 got my attention.

All fat is the Lord's

    Good to know.

    In Chapter 4 we get into the Offerings Made Because You Screwed Up variety, otherwise known as Sin Offerings. A curious thing about these sins is that they must have been done unintentionally. The offerings here will only be effective if you didn't know you were doing something wrong while, or before, you did it. So, if you yelled at your mom and dad, or coveted your neighbor's house, or murdered somebody and you didn't realize until the next morning that maybe you should have made a better choice, Chapter 4 is the place to go. Although it must be noted that a whole lot more space is given over to the process of the sacrifice than the specific sins you can make disappear.

    What kind of animal that needs to be killed depends on who did the sinning.

    Anointed priest?  Kill a bull. See detailed instructions and do not neglect the part about taking "11) the skin, all its flesh, as well as its head, its legs, its entrail, and its dung--12) all the rest of the bull--he shall carry out to a clean placed outside the camp, to the ash heap, and shall burn it on a wood fire; at the ash heap it shall be burned."

    The whole congregation?  Kill a bull. Turn the fat into smoke, it smells good.

    A ruler?  Kill a male goat. Follow all instructions regarding where the blood should go.

    An ordinary person? Kill a female goat. The blood distribution is the same. Also worth noting here is that a female sheep may be substituted if such is more convenient than the goat.

    

    In all cases the Tabernacle janitorial team is going to be pulling some overtime cleaning up around the altar and let's not forget that the fat belongs to God.

    A variety of sins is covered in Chapter 5, including failure to testify if you have knowledge of what happened, touching unclean things, or uttering "aloud a rash oath", and in all of these cases you can make it all better by bringing a goat or sheep to the tabernacle to have its blood dashed against the altar. If a goat or sheep happens to be too pricey you can substitute two turtledoves or pigeons, and if that doesn't fit the family budget one tenth of an ephah of choice flour (mixed with a bit of oil and frankincense) will do the trick.

    Nice to know the sliding scale gets some recognition here.

    Verse 14 shifts gears a bit and talks about "the holy things of the Lord" by which I'm guessing is meant the Ten Commandments, but don't hold me to that. Anyway, if your offense fits this category the animal required is a ram, and mention is made of money being part of what's required, with no sliding scale in sight. Although I can't say as I quite understand what "convertible into silver by the sanctuary shekel" means.

    On to Chapter 6, in which we learn that if you commit fraud or participate in a robbery, or find something that doesn't belong to you and you don't return it to its rightful owner, you really ought to not only make it good, but add twenty percent for the other person's troubles.

    Also, a ram needs to be killed.

    Chapter 6 also mentions what the priests are supposed to wear, and not wear, while performing these admittedly messy tasks. Nothing about PPE, which is curious.

    We wrap up this section with Chapter 7 and Guilt Offerings. And yes, I had to Google it to see what the difference is between Sin and Guilt because it doesn't say here in the Book With All the Answers to Everything. Here is what I learned:

    I learned that nobody seems to really know and they generally use as their excuse the fact that "Things Were Different Then." The closest I could find to any sort of clearcut answer came from Google's AI, which tells us a guilt offering is required for the following...

•  Forgetting or making a mistake when fulfilling a vow
• Accidentally eating food reserved for the priests

    So if you sneak a bit of pita out of Aaron and Sons breadbox, you'd better be prepared to haul your favorite goat into the tabernacle to be turned into a pleasing odor.

    * The back cover of the NIrV Adventure Bible for Early Readers promises to take its readers "on a fun, exciting journey through God's Word. Along the way you'll meet all types of people, see all sorts of places, and learn all kinds of things about the Bible."

    Which is pretty much what I'm trying to do here in my own humble way.

    

    

    

 

Loud, Arrogant Christians

Freedom to Worship Very Loudly

We just got back from a lovely road trip to the Denver area to visit with some friends and family. As I have never been a long haul driver, we broke the drive up into two stages, stopping each way at the very nice Inn of the Governors in Santa Fe. On the return trip we arrived in Santa Fe mid-afternoon with plenty of time to take a nice stroll before dinner. My idea was to check out the handy map of the area and find a place of interest or two before we picked a direction to point our feet. I mentioned this plan to my wife and she nodded and said, "I hear music. Let's see where it's coming from."

    Naturally, her plan was much better than mine.

    Following the music turned out to be a bit more a challenge than we anticipated, as the heavy beat and as yet unintelligible vocals seemed to bounce off the buildings in the area of the state capitol complex in a bewilderingly deceptive manner, making it seem like it was coming from first one direction and then, when you turned another corner, from yet another point of the compass. But finally we figured it out and as the lyrics became clearer and the beat became more window rattling we made our way to the source. About half a block away we could make out these words...

Our god is an awesome god!

    ...repeated over and over again. There may have been some other lyrics sprinkled in here and there, periodically spacing out the declaration of awesomeness, but for the most part it was that one line, pounding away at the unoffending Santa Fe air, sounding for all the world more like an angry challenge than a joyous celebration. As we came around the final corner we saw a gathering of perhaps a couple hundred people (I'm not adept at crowd count estimates, but I think I'm being generous) facing a temporary stage on which a band consisting of an electric guitar player, bass player, drummer, young woman singer, and the fellow pictured above, was producing this very loud, musically simplistic brou-ha-ha.

    My beloved decided not to draw too near, but I had to see if I could get a better look at those responsible. First thing that caught my eye was a big truck parked to the side of the stage.

    Ah! So it was America's Revival we had happened upon. Lovely. And they travel under the name of "Let Us Worship." This, of course, made me wonder just who or what was keeping them from that activity. All the evidence indicated they were not only worshiping but doing a pretty good job of disturbing the peace within a six or seven block radius in the bargain.

    And then the fellow pictured above, who whose parents gave him the name John Christopher Feucht but whose stage name is Sean Feucht*, began to tell a story of when he was out elk hunting with a couple of Native American friends. According to Sean, after they had bagged a majestic creature of the forest, as his friends were performing their ancient ritual to celebrate a successful hunt, he turned them away from what he called "misguided worship" by saying,

    

    "Hey, how about we don't lay hands on the dead animal and talk to the dead animal and all that stuff. That's weird. How 'bout we do this? How 'bout we gather together and hold hands? And how about we invite God's presence? And I kid you not, I started to do this. And the presence of God felt so strong both of these big, manly elk guys (yes, that's what he called them) started weeping."

    He continued with, "This is a state (referring to New Mexico as far as I could tell) created for worship. The problem is so much of it is misguided."

    And so here was this combination Elmer Gantry**/Ted Nugent*** fellow, telling a story in which two grown up Native Americans are brought to tears and converted to his version of Christianity in a matter a seconds by his suggestion "How about we invite God's presence?" Sure, just like random people with tears in their eyes stroll up to Trump and declare they've never known a more decent, compassionate, unjustly persecuted fellow in their whole entire lives. This is just a little less plausible than the burning but vocal bushes that are not consumed or large bodies of water splitting in two we've been studying in our prior installments here at Book by Book. Also, the arrogance in his anecdote is astonishing although it's very much of a pattern with what con artists throughout the ages have done.

    According to this revival huckster, the only folks with a right to worship are the ones who worship like he does, the ones who toss money his way so he can go around the country making noise and insulting people. This, my Dear Reader, is a darned big reason why religion has such a deservedly tarnished reputation.

*If you are of a mind to, do a quick search for this Sean Feucht fellow. I think you'll find that he is an opportunist of the sort America likes produce on a regular basis.

**The movie with Burt Lancaster is excellent, but if you can, read the book by Sinclair Lewis. It is an exposé of hypocrisy that has lost none of its relevance since it was first published in 1927.

***Both of the Dear Readers who have read "devil Went Down to Phoenix" know just how I feel about Ted Nugent. And how our hero Ted Hogwood feels about him too. 

    

A Break

 

Just a quick note to let you know there will be a bit of a pause here at Book by Book while my beloved and I are on a shortish road trip. The photo above is of a bit of Biblical artwork hanging above the toilet in our Santa Fe hotel room. Knowing what I know now I can't help but wonder if the animals are thinking "See, he should have chosen one of us to be his partner."

See you all right back here soon.

Exodus Pt 10

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After a Misunderstanding or Two, 

Life Goes On and 

the Tabernacle Gets Built

A couple-three weeks ago, on a lark, I responded to the messages Google kept sending me about joining their happy family of Ad-Sense bloggers and Making Money with my blog. I'm not doing this as a commercial venture, it's more of an intellectual exercise and long put-off goal I decided to make public, mostly to give me a bit of a nudge whenever I'm inclined to abandon it. But I figured what the heck, let's apply and see what happens. Well, what happened is that the nice Ad-Sense folks determined that "Book by Book" does not have the necessary qualities that would make it a good candidate for advertising. They included some links that are supposed to help point me in the right direction if I want to make the needed corrections, but I don't think I'll be bothering. For one thing I didn't understand a damned thing they were talking about, like "thin content" and "alignment of navigational elements." 

We're going to keep this little venture ad-free.

Did you see what the Louisiana State Legislature and Governor have just done? They went and made it a law that all public school classrooms must have a copy of The Ten Commandments posted on the wall. Not a copy of The Constitution and its Amendments, or The Declaration of Independence, or The Top Ten Shakespearean Insults, but The Ten Commandments. Social media is all abuzz about this, with those in favor saying things like "It's about damn time!" and "What's the fuss? It's just everyday rules for good behavior." and those opposed losing their minds over the complete disregard for what everyone likes to call "Separation of Church and State", which is kinda sorta but not actually referred to in the First Amendment**.

My two cents about the whole thing is that no, The Ten Commandments are not simply everyday rules for good behavior. Just so you don't have to backtrack to find them, here they are again.

1. You shall have no other gods before me.
2. You shall not make for yourself an idol.
3. You shall not make wrongful use of the name of the Lord.
4. Remember the sabbath day, and keep it holy.
5. Honor your father and mother
6. You shall not murder
7. You shall not commit adultery
8. You shall not steal
9. You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor
10. You shall not covet your neighbor's house; you shall not covet your neighbor's wife, or male or female slave, or ox, or donkey, or anything that belongs to your neighbor.

Anyone can see that the first four of them are pretty darned specifically religious in nature. The next five are, I grant you, pretty good guidelines for how to behave but by no means are they comprehensive; for instance there is no "You shall not change lanes without signaling" or "Honor your HOA landscaping guidelines", both of which could go a long way in making this a safer and more attractive world. Number Ten is a bit iffy mostly because it tries to be specific and in doing so it leaves out a whole heck of a lot, like is it okay to covet your neighbor's husband, or the car your neighbor is leasing, or your neighbor's cat, because we all know cats don't belong to anybody.

Back to Exodus. I reviewed the last nine chapters and I think we can reasonably buzz through them all in the time and space we have today.

    Right after we learn that the Covenant between God and the Israelites has been made official by being put down on a couple of stone tablets by the finger of God, we're told in Chapter 32 that those same Israelites had gotten antsy about the fact that Moses seemed to be taking his everlovin' time up on the mountain talking with God. They wanted some action and they wanted a god they could see and touch and admire up close. So they go to Aaron, you know, the fellow who has been picked out to be Head Priest only I guess he doesn't know that yet, and they say, "Come, make gods for us." Really, that's what they said. Aaron didn't need much persuasion, and he didn't need a lot of time to come up with a plan to satisfy the congregation. He had everyone in possession of gold earrings bring them to him and he "cast an image of a calf" and everyone thought it was a more than satisfactory god.

    But the Lord gets wind of what's going on and he tells Moses he is going to "consume" the calf worshipping Israelites and start the nation building all over again with Moses. My guess is that Moses isn't too interested in raising a whole new extended family at his age, because he implores God to reconsider. He reminds God about the promises he made to Abraham, Isaac, and Israel (Jacob), and wouldn't you know it, 14) "And the Lord changed his mind about the disaster that he planned to bring on his people."

    Happy to have saved his people from Consumption by God, Moses takes the tablets down the mountain. As he and trusty Joshua get close to the base, Joshua makes a comment about what he hears coming from the encampment, which he thinks is a noise of war. But Moses knows it is the sound of revelry, and when they turn the corner and see the people dancing around the golden calf he loses it. He throws the tablets on the ground, busting them all to bits, then he takes the calf, melts it down, grinds it up, and puts the powder in water and makes everyone drink it. Must have been a big calf and a reservoir of water as, once again, I would remind us that we're talking about several hundred thousand people here.

    And he's not finished. He gathers a bunch of Levites who, now anyway, are claiming to be "on the Lord's side", and tells them to grab their swords and go kill "your brother, your friend, and your neighbor", because a sharp clap of his hands and a stern look don't seem to be quieting the crowd. Three thousand dead Israelites later he thanks the Levites for their service and tells them they have brought a blessing on themselves.

    The next day, Moses asks God to forgive the people, but instead God says anyone who sinned against him will be blotted out of his book and they can look forward to an unspecified punishment at some later date. 

    And then he sends a plague. We are not told what form the plague takes, how many people die, just that he sent a plague because the people asked Aaron to make a calf and he did.

    Let's pick up the pace.

    In Chapter 33 God once again repeats his promise to drive the Canaanites, et al out of the Land of Milk and Honey. He also calls the Israelites "a stiff necked people."

    Moses sets up his tent outside camp so he can talk with God without being bothered by the stiff neck rabble.

    God tells Moses he doesn't want anyone to see his face, so whenever they meet from here on out Moses will need to stand in the cleft of a rock, let God put his hand over Moses' eyes as he passes, and not see anything until God has passed and all that is visible is God's backside.

    Chapter 34 solves the broken tablets issue when Moses fashions a couple of new stones ready to be taken to the printer.

    God promises to hold a grudge by 7) "visiting the iniquity of the parents upon the children and the children's children, to the third and fourth generation."

    In a section titled "The Covenant Renewed" God brags about how he is going to "perform marvels" and how "it is an awesome thing that I will do for you." He also confides that one of his names is Jealous.

    In verse 26 we are reminded not to boil a kid in its mother's milk.

    Moses spends another 40 days and 40 nights with God and ends up writing everything down on the tablets himself, supposedly because God wasn't showing any inclination to do a repeat performance of the finger writing.

    Moses goes back to the people and everyone comments on his "Been With God" shiny face. He buys a veil.

    We get a quick reminder not to work on the sabbath at the beginning of Chapter 35. The penalty is still death.

    Moses puts out the call for the materials needed to build the tabernacle and related accessories. He also informs Bezalel that he has the winning bid to be general contractor and that he needs to bring Oholiab on board as his top assistant in charge of engraving, design, and embroidery.

    In Chapter 36 the tabernacle is made. Everything God specified is once again spelled out. In detail. In over thirty-one verses.

    Bezalel is super busy in Chapter 37 making the Ark, the Table, the Lampstand, the Altar of Incense, and the Anointing Oil and Incense.

    The following chapter, number 38, is devoted to assuring us that the Altar of Burnt Offerings and the Court of the Tabernacle were completed in a satisfactory manner. It also provides us with an accounting of just how much the entire project cost.

• Gold: Twenty-nine talents and seven hundred thirty shekels
• Silver: One hundred talents and one thousand seven hundred seventy-five shekels
• There is a lot more, breaking it down by what was used for the pillars, hooks, bases, utensils and other items. You can look it up in Chapter 38, verses 27-31.

    They perform a census of the men over twenty years of age and the count is six hundred three thousand, five hundred fifty, or about eighty four thousand more than my home town of Mesa, Arizona. Figure in the women and children and we're talking, what do you think, somewhere around two million?

    The vestments for Aaron and Sons get sewn and embellished with lots of pretty gemstones in Chapter 39. The last part of the chapter gives us a recap and tells us that Moses likes what he sees.

    In the final chapter of Exodus God gives Moses instructions on how to organize all of the pieces and we learn that all of this is coming together on the first day of the first month of the second year of their Egypt to Milk and Honey Adventure. Only thirty-eight years and eleven months to go!

    They will be proceeding only on the days when the Cloud of God is not hovering around the Tabernacle. If the cloud is there (at night it will be fire) they're staying put.

    Next up: Leviticus. I can't wait.

*A pretty Northern Cardinal of the Non-Catholic variety.

**Amendment One: Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press, or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.