Numbers Part 2

 

  *

What Shall We Do With 

the Jealous Husband?**

You have probably noticed that often as not a chapter will cover a few different, seemingly unrelated subjects. In the case of Numbers, Chapter 5, we get:

1. Unclean Persons
2. Confession and Restitution
3. Concerning an Unfaithful Wife

    I know you're anxious to learn all about the unfaithful wife, but we're going to take things in order. For each one, we're told that the Lord spoke to Moses, so one is just as important as the others. I guess.

    First off, God tells Moses that anyone who has leprosy, or nasty oozing, or has been touching a corpse has to set up their tent outside of the main camp.

    Side note: Don't there seem to be a lot of references to corpse touching? And honestly, I haven't included nearly all of them in my little summaries here, but take it from me, corpse touching gets a lot of ink in Exodus, Leviticus, and now here in Numbers. It makes a person think that folks were dropping dead on an alarmingly regular schedule, not only causing grief for their families and friends, but also creating a situation where those same families and friends had to choose between either lovingly taking care of the mortal remains or risk being ostracized by the community at large. Were there no undertakers amongst the six hundred thousand combat ready alpha males?

    As for the confession and restitution section, essentially God says that whatever loss someone suffers on account of another person, the guilty party owes the victim that same amount plus twenty percent for pain and suffering. And if the victim isn't around anymore and neither are his or her heirs, then whatever is owed goes to Aaron and Sons. This is called Priestly Passive Income.

    And now...

    

    Concerning an Unfaithful Wife

    Here's the deal. If a husband either pretty much knows, or even just thinks that his wife has been engaged in a bit of extracurricular dalliancing, what is called "a spirit of jealousy" here, he is to bring said wife, along with a bit of barley flour to the priest. The priest will sit the wife down and put the barley flour in her hands. He then says some words about how the process is to proceed and what she can expect if things go one way or the other. The priest scrapes some dirt off the floor of the tabernacle, mixes it up in some water and makes her drink the nasty water. The upshot here is that if she had indeed been doing some unauthorized frolicking, the dirty water will make her uterus drop and her womb discharge, and there will be no pitter patter of little feet in her future. If her husband is just paranoid and generally prone to unfounded suspicions then her uterus and womb will be no worse for the experience. In either case,

31) The man shall be free from iniquity

    Of course he will.

    I hadn't heard of the Nazirites before Chapter 6 here, but the footnotes helped out. It seems there is a process non-Levites can go through in order to "separate themselves to the Lord", which I guess means they get special attention and maybe a merit badge or two. Once they have gone through the initiation, they get to call themselves Nazirites. And what, you may ask, are they required to do in order to earn this distinction?

1. Stay away from grapes.
2. No visits to the hairdresser or barbershop.
3. No touching of corpses. See, there it is again.
1. If corpse touching is unavoidable it can all be made right with a properly throttled brace of pigeons or turtledoves and a roasted lamb.
4. All prior requirements being met, the candidate will present a male lamb, a ewe lamb (both a year old and free of blemishes), a basket of nice unleavened bread, cakes of choice flour, a wicker tray lined with a tea towel from Selfridge's on which twelve identical, beautifully baked prune danish have been placed.*** 
5. They then can shave their heads and have a nice glass of Manischewitz.
6. We end Chapter 6 with a bit that brought back some nice memories of my time spent in the Methodist and then United Methodist church as a kiddo, youth, and young adult. If I recall correctly, services and youth meetings always ended with what I now know are verses 24-26, Chapter 6, the Book of Numbers. It is a bit of an oasis amidst all the banishment, consumption by fire, and jealous husbands we've been dealing with here.

24 The Lord bless you and keep you,

25 the Lord make his face to shine 

upon you, and be gracious unto you;

26 The Lord lift up his countenance

upon you, and give you

peace.

AMEN

    Isn't that sweet? And it would be a great place to end this installment, but if we just do two chapters at a time this will take forever. Chapter 7 is kind of a long one, but I think we can sum it up pretty easily. After the tabernacle is all built and decorated, Moses has the leaders of the Twelve Tribes bring six covered wagons and twelve oxen to the big tent of meeting. Two of the wagons and four oxen are turned over to the Gershonites to help them transport the tabernacle parts they are responsible for. Four wagons and eight oxen are given to the Merarites for the same thing. But wait a sec! you're saying, what about the Kohathities? They're responsible for a bunch of tabernacle hardware too. True, but the stuff they're assigned to transport all has loop and pole setups and has to be carried by humans of sturdy build. Lucky them.

    After this is established, we get a listing of the gifts each of the tribes brings to celebrate the Grand Opening of the Tabernacle. Everybody must have been looking at the gift registry at the same time because they all bring the same items. It adds up to:

• 12 silver plates
• 12 silver basins
• 12 golden dishes filled with incense
• 12 bulls
• burnt offering
• 12 rams
• burnt offering
• 12 male lambs a year old
• grain offering
• 12 male goats
• sin offering
• 24  bulls
• sacrifice of well being
• 60 rams
• sacrifice of well being
• 60 male goats
• sacrifice of well being
• 60 male lambs a year old
• sacrifice of well being

    The chapter ends with Moses going into the tent of meeting to speak with the Lord, whose voice comes from above the mercy seat on the ark, between the two cherubim. What they speak about isn't covered here. I'm hoping the subject of just how Aaron and Sons were supposed to go about cleaning up the place after slaughtering 252 animals.

    Chapter 8 covers two topics.

1. A repeat of God's expectations concerning the lamps.
1. 7 lamps in front of the lampstand
2. Lampstand to be made out of hammered gold.
2. The sort of ceremony needed in order to bring the Levites up to snuff so they can do the tabernacle related duties God wants them to do. There is washing, shaving, bull sacrificing, and some laundry involved. You can read the whole thing if you want, quite honestly I was beginning to nod off so I may have missed something.

* A California Condor, as photographed by the Navajo Bridge in northern Arizona

**Nothing.

*** Just seeing if you're paying attention.